Pregnancy is hard
Movie pregnancy is cute. You have a bit of nausea, wild cravings and the bigger you get the more you cry randomly.
In the real world, for some of us, it’s not that simple. Here’s how my easy, healthy pregnancy hurt me and/or my career.
I was fortunate to only have “morning” sickness in my first trimester. It hit the fastest on an empty stomach but really could creep up at any time. It’s hard to keep to a schedule with medications or to stay in meetings when you’re watching for a bathroom.
I threw up while driving (what a dangerous thing to do!) to an early morning meeting & threw my back out. I couldn’t move an inch without level 10 pain. 1 ambulance ride & 12 hours in the ER to learn I couldn’t get any imaging done or medications due to being in 1st trimester.
Because of limited treatment options (even after seeing ALL the specialists I could think of), all I could do to heal was rest. I had to take 6 weeks off of work. I was fortunate to have that as a viable option.
Thankfully my depression medications were safe enough to take my whole pregnancy but not at all strong enough to keep me balanced against the hormones. Even on my medication I’ve never fought such intense lows.
When I got back to the office I realized my “pregnancy brain” was worse than I had imagined. I couldn’t finish sentences, I stared at the wall for hours, my memory was completely gone. I kept finding things that I never even remembered doing.
As you can imagine my annual review was abysmal. I was seen as too negative, unprofessional, unreliable. Along with weekly injections for my back the many doctors appointments kept me on the outskirts of projects.
Ours was a walking campus, and it took me easily 3 times as long as any one else to get to meeting locations. I had to schedule large blocks of time for “travel” making it harder to get my work done.
Third trimester came and I couldn’t move much again because of my back. I had to go on maternity leave over a month earlier than planned. Again, I was fortunate to be able to, but not everyone is.
It then took my parents, my sister and my husband home full time to care for me and the baby for the first few weeks. My PPD kicked in on day 2 and I was completely catatonic.
Good healthcare coverage allowed me to check into a fantastic 8 week mental health program. This of course required more full time support from husband & mom. I couldn’t have gotten the help I needed without their support.
Pregnancy was hard. It was a lot of pain, and we made a lot of sacrifices but this was the son we wanted. It changed my life and who I am, but it was my choice to take on the (in my case, non-dangerous) struggle. Let’s not assume we know the lives of others.
