Reflections: Pregnancy Fog

Before going through pregnancy I thought I would be invincible. I assumed a bit of discomfort, sure, but I should be the exception, right? I saw my vice president go through her pregnancy without missing a single beat. I mean it. She was flawless. Heels, attractive business suits, healthy, strong, a commanding presence in every meeting she attended, and glowing. Yes, she was one of those. Let’s just say my journey wasn’t exactly the same as hers. But without going into all of it, I’m realizing just now one strange part of it that I didn’t notice at the time. I was deep in pregnancy fog.

Even in the few months after Kai’s arrival I wasn’t quite myself yet. But now that my hormones are leveling out I’m actually quite surprised as to how normal I’m starting to feel. All of a sudden I’m focused, creative and engaged again. I haven’t felt this way for a year. It’s like that struggle of not knowing if you’re still in pain until you stop taking your pain pills. I truly didn’t notice at the time until I could feel the comparison. I noticed moments when it was a bit more difficult to think, but akin to feeling sleep deprived.

Now I feel an extra dose of gratitude for those who were patient with me while I couldn’t quite finish sentences, forgot emails, completely missed appointments and worse. I’m not sure how other superhero women not only continue working but excel at their jobs through their pregnancy. I’m facing the reality that I just squeaked by with the support of my incredible co-workers. Moms are incredible, yes, but it really does take a village, even in the moments we don’t consider.

So for all of you who were by my side, loving me through my fog, thank you! I couldn’t have done it without your clear, strong call through the mist.