Mommy’s meditation

One of my absolute favorite feelings in the world is rubbing a baby’s back. It takes me back instantly to my days working at a daycare, when the lights were down, the lullabies were playing, and my one job was to rub or pat different children’s backs to help them fall asleep during nap time. As your hand rubs in circles, the feeling of the cloth slowly makes your hand tingle but by then the circles have become so natural you’re not even thinking about it. The autopilot has kicked in, and you’re almost in a trancelike state of relaxation. 

Last night, for the first time, I experienced that with my own son. He’s become a flipping over expert, so while we still lay him down on his back, it’s safe to let him sleep on his stomach if he flips there on his own. And after an early morning feeding, he wiggled his way on him stomach, but wasn’t quite settling down. So I engaged my favorite tool, the back circles, not knowing if it would be accepted. Crossing my fingers I reached out, and four circles in, he was calm and all wiggling stopped. Now, of course four circles wasn’t enough for me. So 10 minutes later I realized I should probably go back to sleep.

I know it’s not good to have expectations in parenthood, because then we can be unfairly disappointed. But I’ve always hoped my son would be a stomach sleeper. Here’s hoping this one wish is fulfilled. If not, Daniel might have to start accepting back circles, because now I’m addicted again.